When I began the year 2010, I vowed to allow myself to explore my true inclinations and to try to create a new work style that incorporates the things I love.
The process has been a lot like stirring a pot of fudge. I have to monitor it closely or I lose track of what I’m trying to create. Still, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve pinpointed some of the talents I haven’t been using to full advantage and now I’m beginning to find ways to apply them.
My first step was to be naughty. I gave myself permission to do whatever I pleased during twenty work hours per week. This was possible only because the economy has adversely affected my existing business to the degree that I am working only about twenty hours a week. This was a very important step. Ordinarily, I would have been pushing myself to try to correct the situation, fighting an uphill battle against the economy and losing more enthusiasm with every rejection. I adjusted my life style and rejoiced in the opportunity to play during the work day.
Why was this naughty? I am an entrepreneur, a member of that great unwashed class called the micro-enterprise business owner. Folks who run micro-enterprises must be self-reliant, because banks don’t like to lend them money. Additionally, though we pay money into unemployment, should our businesses fail, we can’t collect unemployment. Those are some of the factors that make us very disciplined.
Weak economies are wearing for the sole proprietor. You find yourself hanging around the office even when you have nothing to do, just on the off chance a new order will come in. That’s an energy drain, so trying to explore yourself before or after work is done on half-power, so to speak.
My first success in the reinvention process has been giving myself permission to devote twenty valuable hours of the work week to enjoying myself at work. The result of doing this has been a blast of fresh energy, new ideas and a wonderful feeling of freedom and lack of worry.
Sound strange, in light of all the frightening things that have occurred so far in 2010 – economy caution lights constantly flashing, the oil spill adversely affecting the nation, citizens in an uproar about the banking industry, immigration becoming one of the most divisive issues we’ve faced in years?
I believe that we all have an incredibly deep well of resilience and when we tap directly into it, we can overcome almost anything, because we discover our strengths. My strengths are creative. I see right to the heart of a problem. I can visualize success. I love beauty and have many related talents. I can string together words that inspire others. I can guide others to see the big picture, to stretch themselves. I’m a multi-tasker and proud of it.
I’ve invested in myself, spending money on things that I would have not given myself permission to purchase the year before. This seems a little irresponsible, given the state of our economy, but strangely enough, I have been comforted by doing so.
I’m trying to create a sort of mental map of my journey of self-exploration.
The starting point is the awareness that I have never truly maximized all my talents doing something I love. Because this was uncharted territory, I thought that doing it with a friend might be a good move. Not so. In trying to set up a coaching practice with a friend, I lost the friend.
Conclusion #1: I am better at working alone and collaborating with others on a project by project basis.
Conclusion #2: My direction is so fluid at this point that it would be difficult to find anyone else heading the same way.
